Can We Overcome The Power Of Limerence?

Can We Overcome The Power Of Limerence?

I have been round a while and always thought infatuation was the domain of the very younger and somewhat silly. After all, didn't I have a number of infatuations after I was 15 or 17? First, there was the girl in a mining company office the place I had my first job. She was years my senior, however sophisticated properly above her years. Then there was my friend's mom, 26 years older. And over the following yr or two, a couple of others. Then of course, I grew up. Or so I thought.

Once I began having real relationships the very concept of infatuation seemed like a childish pastime. That's till just recently when I fell victim to what I later found is called "limerence", a a lot more mature type of involuntary infatuation.

You see, there is this girl at work to whom I used to be attracted not lengthy after we first met. She's very a lot youthful that me and I realised that there was no real alternative for a meaningful relationship, especially since I am not solely too old for her, I am also married.

I'd have been pleased with a platonic relationship if solely I might have spent some time with her and been shut friends. In reality, my emotions for her had been less physical and more about what ends limerence I perceived as her youthful, exhuberent, lovely personality. And her intelligence. I thought she was nice to be around and he or she made me comfortable when we had been together.

Then I began waking up early only to have her in my thoughts. I would think of her on and off throughout every day and when I noticed her it was like my dreams had come true ... no less than when she talked to me. I couldn't imagine that this young lady had taken management of my ideas with absolutely no information or intention on either her behalf or mine. That is part of what limerence is, what limerence does, even to much older, mature people.


My research told me that limerence cases usually last for years. One technique to dispense with it's to search out one other limerant object ... really no solution at all. I told myself that I'm too smart, too skilled and simply too smart for this to go on for years. After all, I was in charge of my destiny. Right?

Apparently not. I've actively prevented contact with my "limerent object" at a number of social events and at work over the previous few weeks with the hope that my curiosity will merely fade away and take with it the emotional rollercoaster that is limerence. That is in truth made me unhappier because I really feel that I'm being unreasonable to her as an harmless party in all this.

Occasionally, when she passes in a hallway, she provides me a lovely smile and says, "Hi, Robin" and it rocks me to the core. Just seeing her or listening to her voice sends my chemistry into chaos mode.

If solely I might find in her some flaw, some bad thing perhaps, that may assist change my mind. I can't. To me, she is perfect. It seems that there's merely no escape from limerence. It is a matter of hanging in there and toughing it out.

In case you are ever unlucky enough to be caught in the limerence trap I am afraid you may just must trip it out too.

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